I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
