Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
