her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
