yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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