Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We left an ass print on the piano.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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