So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
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