maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I looked at my own cervix.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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