Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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