So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
