Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
