told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
