And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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