But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Small penises have feelings too.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
