i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Green mimosas i think yes
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
