Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Someone came in the potted fern
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize