So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
