drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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