I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
