just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
