Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
