No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
