I want to make a zoo with you.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
