He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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