threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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