so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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