don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
