I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
