How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
