think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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