she looked like the before picture.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You've changed since you got that strap on
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
