My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
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