No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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