My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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