If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
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