A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
