Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
