Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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