I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
