Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
