So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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