Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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