We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
