you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
