Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
