Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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