you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
