K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
