yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
