Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
