I feel like abortions should bother me more
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
