In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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