woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
