Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
