You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i believe in u and ur pee
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
